I want to share a pretty big thing with you.
I'm pretty excited right now. Because I realized I have gained 10 pounds in 3 years. But that’s not what I’m excited about - it's that I hardly noticed! That’s a miracle from where I used to be.
I need to go back to 3 years ago to tell you the journey…
We arrived home June 5th, 2015 after an 8 month road trip (seeing much of the US and parts of Canada).
After 2 left hip surgeries my pain only grew and I ended up in a wheelchair. I was so depressed that I starved myself because I told myself that, "If I was going to be cripple and in pain, at least I would be thin". A HEARTBREAKING THOUGHT, but I was not in my right mind; living with intense pain and depression from it.
As I got better I was moving more, which was healthy, but I was depressed after starting life over again and losing our community of friends and our home/independence, etc, so apparently I ate.
Now here's the cool part! Since coming home, I started Lifespan Therapy and it's changing my thought life, my emotions, how I see the world and respond to it.
I was gaining weight while learning to love myself and heal from so much emotional pain others have put me through - as a child and adult.
In the past, if I gained weight, I would be upset with myself. Now, I literally didn't even notice- even with buying new clothes! Because I finally have learned to love and accept myself – in each and every stage and area of life.
Important note here: I do want my body to show that I take care of what God gave me and that is why I am working on losing it, but it's by eating healthy and positive thoughts, not from a place of self hate or shame.
I want for other people to be set free of all the negative self talk, shame, blame and internal pain that comes with unmet expectations and struggle of self image. You are beautiful and worth investing in, believing in and rooting for, no matter what your journey.
I highly encourage you to keep fighting for yourself through counseling, friendships, accountability, bible reading and prayer- so that God can heal whatever your pain. I pray you can love yourself whatever body you are in, because you are worth it and God sees his beautiful daughter in you. All of you.
Much Love, Marilyn Mae